How's retirement going??

How's retirement going??

Dear God! If I hear that phrase again, I think I may bloody well scream............ !

Just how is retirement going?? Truth is I'm really struggling. Some days it's moderately ok - others it seems almost unbearable.

I begged and prayed for the day we would retire and we could 'be'! It turns out I have no idea how to 'be'. (Husband has perfected the art very quickly!)

However, I know how to 'do', oh I know how to do that so well, so I'm 'doing' lots; cleaning - lots and lots of cleaning! I've turned back into the eternal cushion plumper.

Ironing - a new skill re-learnt by me, believe it or not. Most of our clothes were sent to the laundry as we were too busy working or they came out of the machine and flattened out.

Do you know the last time I washed and ironed sheets?? About 16 years ago! All my linen has been dispatched in a blue bag via a nice little man in a van and returned crisp and clean. I know, I can see you shaking your heads in disbelief and do please close your mouths it's most unbecoming!

I'm not going to bitch about cooking, because truth be told I'm the worlds most shocking cook and luckily Husband actually enjoys it, so I've turned into his KP (kitchen porter to the uninitiated) More cleaning! I HAVE to have the glass cooker hob sparkling!!! For fucks sake!!!

However, I am going to bitch about the cost of food............ why? Haven't I eaten in the last 15 years??? Oh yes, in our business and from the business!

Neither of us rarely cooked as we were too busy. So as I said to Husband the other day in Sainsbury's (other stores are available) 'When the Fuck did food ever get so expensive?', his reply being 'when you started paying for it'!!

So what is the matter with me???? Well, I realise now, that my work particularly the last 25 years have totally & utterly defined and consumed me. Now, in a bizarre way, I almost feel bereaved............

Having spoken to a few other professionals, I understand that my feelings are not unusual and they're not going to go away overnight, that's helped a bit.

But, please don't suggest I find myself a hobby or do some voluntary work, do NOT tell me to pull myself together and definitely don't tell me right now how lucky I am - I know all of that!

I just need time to get through this period of mourning and decide what the future holds for me?!?

Join me again won't you if only to have a little smile at my ramblings,

Liz x

Comments

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