Firstly, I hate to reinforce this oft said cliche, but we really do have many times where we wonder how we fitted in work. We've got into a really comfy rhythm of later starts sharing that morning cup of tea in the luxury of bed.
The feeling of not having to rush anywhere and that relaxing possibilities are endless. I feel great joy in picking up a book - that guilt has certainly gone. I've watched some great films, and I'm really enjoying this feeling of freedom. I certainly haven't taken up knitting, crochet, art, yoga or any other myriad of things that has been suggested to me that I 'might like'!
At home and after a dodgy start (i.e, me shouting and having a few tantrums) household chores are naturally dividing into his and mine jobs, and it's a complete joy being able to really appreciate the company of our dogs rather than often viewing them as a dog walking necessity. Hurtfully honest, but true!
But what is so strange, is this feeling of loss of friendship with people I've spent so much of my life working alongside for the best part of 11 years. One minute you're a huge part of each others lives, the chats over coffee's in between serving customers or with Chefs over the kitchen pass, or even the conversations with so many customers who became such friends over the years. Already, I can feel that even with one or two of my deepest friends from that part of my working life are changing - we will soon have very little in common. I wouldn't say its as strong as grief but its certainly a very weird feeling and not one that I'd really factored in..............
However, I certainly don't miss the endless stress and worry about all things business connected and being retired is starting to feel reasonably normalised. So retirement continues to be exactly what the title of this blog is - Loss, found and searching!
Love as always
Liz x
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