Auntie Joan - To Grieve is to have Loved

I guess this photo of my Husbands Auntie Joan is typical of it's day, and probably fairly typical of most orders of service booklets for funerals for people of her years.

Although I'd only met her a couple of times, Auntie Joan appears to have been a fairly standard woman of her day; much loved by many, long marriage, 2 good sons and grandchildren. Artistic and proud of her handmade cards.

Auntie Joan didn't want a eulogy at her service - this was apparently made clear in a letter left and underlined! So I'm guessing there was steel behind the classy glasses of her time and that faint smile. The Vicar (a super chap who did Auntie Joan and the Church proud) spoke movingly about love and loss, and that to grieve means we also had to have loved.

Typically stoical middle Englanders in the assembled gathering who up until that point had been pretty dry eyed, started to shuffle tissues from pockets and gently sniff!

Beautiful browsing hymns were sung and then surprisingly, All Things Bright and Beautiful - a hymn sung at our wedding, which made Husband and I hold hands just that bit tighter.

The family decided on close family flowers only and after a suitable time in the cold at the crematorium where hugs and words were exchanged, there was a little drive back and the usual family and friends get together. What was delightful, was that the sons had put together a reel of photos on a continuous loop that showed her life and what was clearly important in that life. Fab to see the joy in her face and that of others in those pictures on what was a sad day.

Now, I DON'T want gentle sniffing or refined cups of tea I want wailing and sobbing and then a bloody good knees up, where all my frailties, foul language and ability to embarrass my nearest and dearest are remembered and laughed at! But seriously, there's nothing like a funeral to make you think where YOU are in the cycle of life is there??

So, here's to you Auntie Joan and here's to US making the most of every single minute of whatever life we have left!

Here's to those who left us far too early and all those who will go on and on and on!

Love always

Liz x

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